How to be a dad is a question that many of us ask ourselves even when contemplating having children. For millennial dads specifically this is sometimes an unknown and unchartered territory due to the fact that many of us grew up without a father in our homes. In this post I will be exploring some key aspects to being a good dad.
- Love Unconditionally
- Be Present
- Listen to Understand
- Make Sacrifices
- Lead by Example
Let’s explore each topic in detail and get you on your path to becoming and remaining a great dad.
Love Unconditionally
A great dad loves unconditionally no matter the circumstance or situation. This means not being judgmental or casting shame on your family or children. Even through tough times you will have to remain a solid and loving father ready to weather any storm.
A great dad loves even through disappointment when he finds out that everything that he has hoped and planned for has been altered. He loves when his little prince or princess has done something unforgivable. He loves when he is heartbroken. He loves when he feels that he doesn’t have any more love left to give.
A great dad loves his family with every ounce of his being and is willing to show his love each and every day. Compassion and care are imperative for a dad not only to implement but also to exhibit. You are always on a stage for your kids, so ensure that you are always exhibiting unconditional love.
Be Present
A good dad is present physically and mentally! Children need their fathers yet so many grow up without them in this vicious cycle that has become the norm in American society. A dad carves out time for each and every one of his responsibilities. This includes ensuring that there is special time allotted for his children and that this time is near the top of his list.
Children are only small for a short period of time, so much so that if you blink you might miss their growing years. That said, you must make time for them regularly and consistently no matter your relationship with their mother. You must also cherish the early years and “bask in the cuteness” as the years go by so fast.
As stated earlier good dads are present both mentally and physically, meaning that they are engaged when they are present. Men often only think of providing a good life for their family through extensive hours at work or lucrative business deals, but the actual needs are much deeper. Providing a good life is very important and should not be discounted, but a good dad ensures that he makes time for his kids to be present both mentally and physically.
Makes Sacrifices
As a dad and family man there will always be sacrifices that will require you to put the needs of others before your own. Great dads weigh their options and make tough decisions that typically require a sacrifice of some sort.
They make these sacrifices selflessly and without giving a second thought. Great dads ensure that their kids are taken care of and have what they need. This may mean sacrificing sleep and time to rest for additional income. This could also mean sacrificing both income and time to pursue a degree or certification to better position his family for the future.
Sacrifices are definitely a trait of a great dad but it is also important to have time for yourself and to also think of yourself occasionally so that you do not become burned out. Great dads make sacrifices but they also ensure that they have self care to keep themselves going.
Listen to Understand
Great dads listen to understand and not just to respond. This means that they actively listen to actually understand an issue or circumstance rather than jumping to conclusions. Through listening to understand you are able to actually get the full story and understand the intent of the conversation.
Dads and men in general sometimes aim to be tactical or simply solve problems. When going into conversations with this mindset we sometimes only listen to solve the issue and end the conversation. In taking this approach to conversations and listening we miss key context clues as well as the actual intent of the conversation at times.
Some conversations are simply for information only and your kids don’t necessarily need you to solve an issue, they just want you to listen. They just want to talk to you and cover several topics that they had been saving just for you or anyone that is willing listen for that matter. This seems and feels counterproductive and may be in some instances, but great dads listen to understand and have great emotional intelligence.
Lead By Example
Dads lead by example and understand that they are often on a “stage.” Your kids look up to you and in some instances idolize you as their real life super hero. That said, everything that you do is being watched either by your family or even by other dads looking to learn or collaborate.
It is important that you lead by example and practice what you preach. The best way to get your children to follow and adhere to what you are teaching them is to actually live it every single day. Set the bar high for yourself and lead by example so that your kids hear and see you doing the right thing.
As a dad you will always have an audience and always have someone looking to you for an example on how to live life and handle business. So lead by example and make sure that you set the bar high for those that look up to you.
In Closing
Fatherhood is a blessing and being a great dad comes with effort and consistency. Be there for your kids and family as they will need you just as much as you need them. Your unconditional love is often the main thing that you will need to bring with you as your children often just need you, their dad.
Listening is imperative and will aid in gaining knowledge of exactly what’s on your kids’ minds. You must listen to understand and not to react. You must also lead by example knowing that all eyes are on you. Lastly, remember to simply do your absolute best and to be the best version of yourself that you can be. I have great faith that you can be a great dad and I hope that these few tips have started you down your path to greatness.