Contrary to popular belief, new dads have feelings and emotions too! Depending on how ‘new’ a dad is to parenthood, he could be in dire need of a compliment or two. This post will be dedicated to what to tell a new dad.
- Simply tell them congratulations
- If willing, let them know that you are able to babysit
- Ask how they are doing or feeling
- Let them know that they were built to weather the storm
- Give them parenting hacks
Though there are multitudes that you can say to a new dad here is my deep dive at a few to help you get the conversation going.
Congrats!
A simple congratulations goes a long way, especially for a dad bursting with excitement over his new bundle of joy.
This simple salutation stated verbally may garner a thank you and a smile. It may also call for a big hug if your into hugs, if not, still be on standby for the possibility of hug.
It could also be just what the doctor ordered to get the tense new dad talking about his and his significant others’ experience with the entire child birth process.
“Congrats” is always a safe play and is universally expected by both parents as the first thing that people will say to them. Even if you have other things to say, lead in with congrats to put everyone at ease before you begin whatever may come next.
Babysitting
If you know a thing or two about children or even if you don’t know a thing, offering to babysit is a very thoughtful gesture. In the first few months many parents operate very sleep deprived and live in a world of “sleep when you can.”
Depending on your relationship with the mom and dad they could actually take you up on your offer, so only offer if you are sincere about your intentions.
If you are new to children in general but still want to do your part to help a dad or mom in need then feel free to babysit at the new parents’ house while they are there. For a period of time after the baby is born they sleep most of the day and are on a strict schedule for feedings and diaper changes etc.
You could simply come over and learn about children and take a short shift of a couple hours or so while the baby is basically sleeping until the next feeding time and give the parents a break to take a good nap knowing that someone they trust will be watching out for baby.
How Are You?
Pregnancy and child birth is primarily centered around the woman due to the fact that she does all of the work! But all in all, men experience many emotions during pregnancy and child birth as well.
Since no one typically asks how we’re doing we don’t often get the opportunity to express our feelings openly and honestly.
With this question be ready to actually hear how the new dad is doing. He could likely have many harbored emotions and mental points of view that he was waiting to express. If in fact you are not prepared to listen without judgment then this may not be a good question to ask.
You never know how another person is feeling or what they are struggling through, so this question could open up many possibilities.
But I recommend that you personally are mentally prepared for interpreting what comes next as the pregnancy process is tough and full of surprises that nothing in life prepares you for.
There are disappointments, life adjustments, worries, stressors, and overall a different lifestyle associated with pregnancy and child birth that the new dad may be dying to have a sincere conversation about.
You Were Built For This!
A phrase that my friends and I often say to each other when we are going through though times is simply “You were built for this.” This is simply confirmation that everything that we have experienced in life up to this point was preparing us for our current situation.
This is a simple yet powerful statement and carries weight especially when you have the dad to be repeat it back to you one word at a time. Saying it yourself puts a different spin on it and helps to reinforce the simple verbiage.
If you notice, there is a theme here to be uplifting and be encouraging. There is nothing like being a new dad and being uncertain of yourself and your capabilities and having someone tell you that “You were built for this” that may just be that boost of confidence that you needed!
From One Parent To Another
In the event that you yourself are a parent one thing to tell a new dad is any type of parenting hack that you have discovered or developed. Having instant knowledge on items that others have figured out the “hard way” is exceptionally helpful.
This aids in helping a dad to focus time and energy on things that actually matter including spending more time with the new mom and baby.
This can also build confidence in a new dad when he is able to showcase what he knows efficiently and quickly.
Like any person new to something I am sure that he has searched and researched many resources to help him get well acquainted with his new tasks, but there is nothing like the advice that you get from someone that has “been there and done that.” So yes, if he is open to listen give that dad everything that you wish you knew when you first became a parent.
In Closing
Being new to anything is tough and requires patience, confidence, and utilization of all resources available. The greatest resource that we have is each other, and with that said we should work together during every chance we get to make each other stronger.
This is a true display of friendship and generosity when we share the knowledge that we gain “the hard way” to hopefully make someone else’s process easier. So please go and help a new dad if it is nothing more than a mere congrats!